Defining Yoga

Yoga - physicality with spiritual intent

Yoga means so many things to me, and I think it can mean different things to different people - it's a personal interpretation. But this is one I'm enjoying at the moment, and the analogy below lends itself to help elaborate.

The body is the vehicle, the mind is the driver, but the consciousness is the VIPassenger.

If the vehicle doesn’t run well then the passenger may not get anywhere, and if the driver talks too much the passenger may be too distracted to enjoy the beauty of the journey.

But with harmony of body and mind the consciousness doesn’t have to worry, and instead has the freedom to remain objective observer of all that passes by.

Yoga is a simple way to unify body, mind, and consciousness - all that’s needed is just oneself. Strengthening the body to find stillness of the mind, to discover awareness of the self, and enjoy the ride.

MEsponsibility

I am a prisoner to my past. I can’t change what was, only what is.

I live within a constant state of change. This means I’m not the same person I was when I started typing this sentence, let alone yesterday or last year!

In the asana yoga practice it’s possible to identify that your physical body feels different compared to the last time you practiced. I think it’s less easy though to have the same awareness and realisation of the mind.

If I’m a different person today then it can be challenging for me to take responsibility for the actions of the me from yesterday. Yes, it was technically me, but the me right now is bound to the actions of all the previous versions of me, regardless of how much I’ve changed. The more mindful and self aware I become the more difficult it can be to deal with that realisation.

If I’m continually evolving then what is it that remains constant and defines *Me*? At present I believe it’s consciousness - objective observer of that change, of self. But consciousness/being witness of this isn’t enough on its own to evolve, it also requires choice - observing the changing thoughts and feelings, and *choosing* which to indulge in and act upon.

However, when my consciousness starts to take the responsibility for having caused pain to oneself, loved ones, and even strangers, then it’s possible to chastise myself and indulge in that judgement. But this can be unhelpful if I becomes consumed by thoughts not grounded in truth and rationality, and can, and has, lead to sadness and even depression. And it can be such a struggle to climb out of that mind-space.

I don’t think redemption/solace is found in self-judgement, but in the choice to learn from those past thoughts/feelings/actions so as to endeavour to not repeat the same patterns in the future.

And that’s all I can do. Alas, whilst I can (and do) say sorry for the suffering caused by historical versions of me, apologies can’t alter the past. But consciousness and choice can influence the present, and perhaps even the future. If I can accept and love the current me and not hold onto previous versions, then hopefully others can too. Judge me for the choices I make today with an awareness of the past, not my errs of yesterday.

Expectation

Did you ever have an experience such as going to see a film, or going for a night out, or finally on a date with someone you’d had your eye on for a while, where beforehand you kept thinking “oh my god this is going to be the most amazing, best thing ever”, and then during, or afterwards, you felt “...meh...was ok”.

I’ve set myself up with ridiculous expectations for some things, and then when they haven’t been met I’ve become pretty disappointed, sad, or even depressed. I can create this scenario, or fantasy, in my head, and then I can become trapped in that fantasy, and not actually be present in the moment when it happens. And I think I've not only done this in my life, but sometimes also on the mat: “I’m going to nail this handstand; I’m going to be as flexible as the person next to me, or as flexible/strong as I was yesterday/last class”. I think the idea in yoga is not to live in the fantasy - to drop any expectation. When my reality doesn’t meet or exceed my expectation, then I can become disappointed/unhappy/sad. But if I drop the expectation and can just be in that moment, then I have no choice but to enjoy/appreciate it, as it just...is.

When I step onto the mat I (endeavour to) practice Pratyahara (5th limb of Patañjali's Ashtanga) - withdrawal from the senses. When I let the world fade away I redefine my reality as just me on a tiny rectangle - my mat. I can still have expectations of myself here though, but if/when they’re not met I only have myself to blame. So either I get angry with myself for not being ‘good enough’, or I learn to drop that expectation and just accept the reality - “oh, I fell out of that tree pose - how funny! Never mind, I’ll just try again, or move on to the next pose we’re doing.”. And I think this is why I can feel really good/peaceful/content/happy at the end of a practice - not just because I've moved my body for 60/90/x minutes, but because, through the poses and breath, I've practiced/learned to not live with, or in, expectation, but just to enjoy and appreciate each moment as it unfolds.

However, (and I see this a lot as a teacher,) a lot of the time as soon as people step off the mat they also step out of yoga and are back into their expectations: “oh, yoga - done! Tick. Now must run and catch the train; oh I hope he’s put the children to sleep; I should send that work email tonight rather than tomorrow morning; I wonder how many likes my post has now on Instagram”. And I'm guilty of it myself! I've sometimes completely come out of yoga and returned to the fantasy. But now I'm more aware of it and can endeavour to stop myself.

I think the idea is to take that sense of just ‘being’ with us when we leave the space, as a part of us, and to remain in yoga - connected to the self, dropping those expectations and taking/appreciating/enjoying (hopefully) each moment as it comes.